Thursday, December 4, 2014

Sanchez to Sanchez, cross diagonal to Snachez, he cuts inside and shoots. Goal! Wonderful work by THE SANCHEZ.

Most sites are a pastiche of click for revenue driven templates, often relying on misleading or incomplete headlines to drive us, the unwashed masses to their domains. This has been compounded somewhat by the reemergence of the tabloid and the seeming unending transfer speculation. This is usually fictional or outright fantasy and often based on nothing more than a cheese sandwich.

They do this because it works. We click, we grimace, but we will click again. It's the nature of the fan (remember this is short for fanatic) to want to absorb any and all news. News.. a term I mention spuriously. So learning the trick they repeat it, and like the mythical Ouroboros we watch the media eat itself only to be reborn again under another sensational tagline.

We've seen this particular news, view or statement before about being a one man team. No doubt should one of the fantastical tabloid transfer links ever happen we'd be seeing the same about Cavani (etc etc insert name here) banging them in. As already stated, its a product of the machine and aimed at the hight of a mental pygmy.

However if we turn this reasoning on its head, if we used the tabloid reasoning directly and literally, we'd be hammered 200-0 every week. I love Sanchez, but we'd need a single player the size of Jabba the Hut to turn out on his own and deploy the José Mário dos Santos Mourinho Félix parked bus system (trademark) to get anything more than a galactic hiding every week.

We bought a great player. He's hit the ground running and is showing a Tony Adams level of commitment to The Arsenal and us, her supporters. He's not a one man team, he quite relies on 10 other players of mixed form and abilities and I'm quite sure is not the second coming of Jesus. He is, however, a top player and it's with pride I see him turn out in our colours.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Love in till there's some real news

What happens when you mix a loonytoon story about being a hybrid (no not a prius) alien human construct who's father just happens to be the serpent who evicted mankind from Eden? Ok, after you stop laughing...

Interestingly, I wondered if, after watching this HERE and looking at it the Simon Parkes interview for deception and finding little evidence, could this mean truth, albeit it through mental illness and cognitive transference of imagination to memory or actual truth?

My monies on transference.

After all, were this true, the dark demonic image I have of the devil and the anti-christ just doesn't fit the image of a bespectacled Simon Parkes now does it.

Having said that, it does make me wonder... what if what I write, perhaps mistakenly calling it imagination and creative fantasy, was in fact memory? What do we really know about history? Written oft by the victors, transcribed by clergy, fantasists and heretics and now deposited digitally using electricity and soon quantum means, what if this was a forced perception. What if what we understand to be real is based on a single deception? Now that's a bit more worrying than Simon Parkes becoming the spokesperson for Toyota, or to find the alien agenda is to make us all own a hybrid, (which to date most of us have, in a wonderful niece level mistook for a Prius and not our first born)… but still… what IF.

Now at last to my point.

If this is true we should all start dreaming, writing, talking and sharing love. We all have a love, beit our dog, a partner or for us given that you are reading an Arsenal blog, the Arsenal so this isn't a strange concept. We can't change the past. Hell, we can't even for sure say we know what that even is. We can however start to lay down the tracks for a better history, a truer one without all the devils, despots and aliens. That way no matter what we remember, record or dream… we will always be at peace, knowing if we are to be our own Gods, then we at least are not vengeful or angry ones.

One love people, one love, let's get together and feel alright!

Couldn't have said better myself...

Friday, June 7, 2013

Handbags at dawn!

After recent ill-advised comments in the papers this week about Theo, seems his mum has come to his defence and launched a few verbals of her own. Well done Lynn!

“I’m sorry but ‘Psycho’ is talking rubbish! (His nickname says it all). Theo often in the past had shortened holidays so that he could go to senior and U21 internationals.

“Players like Alex O-C are being spared this and only having to go to one or the other – I think the FA made all their mistakes with Theo.

“I’m not aware of him ever turning down a call up! Sour grapes from Pearce.”

Awesome one two three combo from Lynn that left pierce reeling from a well placed Gucci to the gob. While he no doubt is used to removing his foot from his mouth, this might be the first time he's had to remove a handbag!

Next on the petition list is for a bit of Gucci is Stuart Robson, who's gormless crusade against the gunners continued again with the missive that he wouldn't trust Wenger with a wheelbarrow full of money. We'll be sending Lynn around later with a wheelbarrow full of Gucci.

Bish bash bosh.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Transfer update Friday: Super Sonago confirmed and Williams reportedly agrees 3 year deal

Nice way to start the weekend as the signing of teenage French sensation Yaya Sonago was confirmed. He is joining us in June on a free with 250k going to Auxerre as compensation. His record of 10 goals in 13 games is fantastic, especially seeing as this was on the back of a bad injury that kept him out of the line up all season. His last gift to the Auxerre faithful proved to be a wonderful half volley from a drilled cross, back across the keeper and into the Nimes net. Recently called up for the French Under 21 National side, it looks to be a great bit of business. Here's a look at the young lad. 





In other news the Evening Standard reports the imminent signing of Ashley Williams.

Evening Standard today:

"Arsenal have agreed terms to sign Ashley Williams this summer. Arsene Wenger is hopeful of tying up a three-year deal to bring him to the Emirates Stadium for a fee of £8-10million in the next fortnight"

This will no doubt upset the Anfield supporters who thought the ink had dried on a 4 year deal only for an eleventh hour bid to be accepted from us. Reports from within Anfield state that the Liverpool board backed out of the deal as the players age was mooted as an over riding reason. It seems strange that this would be so, as Williams stats this year prove his superiority over the current Liverpool central defenders. While history proves AW did the right thing pulling out of the Sahin deal, I think the Anfield Faithful will look at this as one that got away. With speculation over the Verminator's status ongoing, I don't see this as proof of this being anything but direct upgrade to the departing Squid. While Oli reportedly is sad to see his friend released, I fear he might be the only one and Williams signing significantly upgrades our defensive unit.

This leaves us with most of our kitty intact and the keeper, midfield and striker positions awaiting AW's ministrations. I won't bother with the rumors, just a chuckle at the 250k a week for 5 years deal mooted for Shrek.

"DONKEY!"

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Ding Dong, Thugball is dead.

It's been a few days since we dramatically clinched our place in the sun. In fact I had the use of both eyes when I caught the breaking news that Stoke had given Pullis the boot, thereby curing any lasting hangover and putting a remarkable spring in my step. Thugball is dead, or perhaps coming to America where those in the know suspect Pullis to crawl out from under a rock to transform a football team into playing passable rugby.

There's not many people who get under my skin, and less football managers. In fact I can count two, Redknapp and Pullis. At least Harry is just about personality (OK I'll come clean, also the fact Spurs are the ONLY team he hasn't got relegated while in charge, I mean WTF) Pullis's crimes against football go far deeper. His malodious personality aside, the way he shaped a football team to become thugs make nothing to hold their play against if one believes in the beautiful game. Now Chavski have proven you can win while playing terrible unattractive football, but they also show you don't have to kick, elbow, punch and step on insteps to win. The Naughty Forty don't do as much damage as their club players do on the pitch.

I've not wanted anyone to be relegated as much in forever, and honestly thought Stoke were proud of their football, manager and they way they played. Having run into some Stoke NF troglodytes on a train further reinforced this view. "We're going to break more legs than you" in the style of our "we're going to score more goals than you" is just one such nice ditty we were serenaded by.

The Stoke chairman's words; that he realized the style of play and the implications to the image of the club and the damage this has done to the club was stated. That moving forward they would have to move away from this and step one was bringing in a new manager to spearhead this change. Make no mistake, this impacts them right in the wallet. They needed to change, but honestly at this point the damage has been done. It will be a brave man to take over at Stoke and introduce tiki taka. Please God don't let it be Stevie Bold as a few daily rags suggest. Whoever it is, I fervently hope they at least try play football and that the cost of playing Stoke next term doesn't amount to weeks of sidelined players and the potential career ending broken leg (again).

Transfer news is sparse, same old stories running across 4.7 Bazzilion blogs and newspapers and I'm reading them all. I had been made aware that the perception of blogs have crossed from a personal shout out to mainstream journalism. Unfortunately few post sources or when given, have them linked to fantasy factories from Italy and Spain by and large. Still, gives me something to do while I eat the cornflakes.
 

After sifting through all this the last few days the only consensus I can allude to is that Arsenal want AW to buy big this year as much as the fans do. This seems likely. We have just dumped a ton of youth players and I suspect the dead wood to follow. This gives us money for the wages of these 2 or 3 superstars we are about to sign. Right? Well we shall see but first up is our interest in this young lad, Yaya Sanogo.
 

He told SkySports.
“Arsenal could be a great club for me, I scored nine goals this season with Auxerre and they think I can improve my level in England. I am pleased to be following in the footsteps of Abou Diaby who came through from Auxerre. There are many teams interested in me, but Arsenal is my choice.”

Lets cross all our fingers and toes his injury record improve as it's frighteningly like Diaby's and most report that the deal is about done. With lots of reported interest for Podolski, Vermaelen and Sagna one hopes the purported Higuain, Jovetic and Piszczek deals materialize and that if we do sell, we replace with better. If Vermaelen to Barca gets us back Cesc, I'd snap their grimy paws off. I expect though we still have a few surprises in store. A few mutterings of game changers I shall have to see to believe, but given the draconian way we have started to tackle the wage bill you never know. I never saw Bergkamp coming either... and on that note I'm off to the land of nod till bleary eyed I shall rise to greet the new day and hopefully some concrete news on our signings new and wonderful.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Koscielny!!!!

Hard to say what made me happier today, the Alan Sugar tweet here that sent the tiny tots into ecstasy or the brilliant strike from Kos. Cruel I know, but I wouldn't have sent Hitler a birthday card either.

We were nervy and playing well within ourselves, the barcodes had plenty of the ball but no real team work. Ben Arfa and Cabaye deciding to balloon attempt after attempt into the upper stand much to our relief and our own quality of final ball being somewhat lacking made it tough to watch. The only highlight for me was one of levity. Cheik Tiote went up with Poldi for a header, taking his eye off the ball and getting smashed in the face and going down as if shot from the grassy knoll. Luckily Poldi was nowhere near him. From a certain angle that might have seemed malicious, but the only contact was from the ball itself. Thankfully though, no real harm was done and the lad got up and continued with no lasting harm done except to his pride.

We were linked with both Chiek and Yanga-Mbiwa extensively and on this showing I'm glad we let those ships pass in the night. Mbiwa especially looked lost and seemed both unable to pass or control a simple ball to feet. Ramsey ran around and was everywhere, but his passing today was awful. All in all a half to forget, only sweeter for the tiny tots scoreline and the touching Barcode standing ovation to the departing keeper Steve Harper. He had revealed he was close to tears when fans chanted his name in his farewell game.

“Everyone started clapping... and I was wobbling,” he said.

“But then Podolski smashed me in the family allowance and that snapped me out of it.”
Classic.

Second half we had more purpose, The Ox seemed to move into Arteta's slot well enough and for once we started to make the ball work for us. The game was still scrappy and I'm probably not the only one thinking that our first goal would come from a set piece. So it proved, Theo corner to Poldi who nodded it on. The Boss acted first, pirouetting and smashing the ball into the net before Harper could react. I shouted goal so loud the chap with the chainsaw half way up the trees in the back garden nearly tumbled out of it. Which also goes to prove the intelligent choice is always to strap yourself in, be it the car or a 50 foot tree.

We didn't really press any further until Oli came on, and his presence was two foldedly effective. First he held up the ball and allowed us some time to actually move around and create some space, secondly he muscled his way into a few good situations and very nearly capped his display with a cheeky chip over Harper. Theo must be wondering how he managed to turn the chance of the season to the worst miss of the season and one could understand his palpable frustration at that point. Time and again the through ball went wide, behind him or missing him in space alone altogether. As I said before, Ramsey was the worst culprit here and his industry didn't quite make up for the errant passing. Thankfully it wasn't punished.

With the tiny tots scoring (and what a goal it was too) the last ten minutes went end to end. The barcodes had only to equalize and the tots would leapfrog us into the CL. It seemed word got to the lads and we started to look a little vulnerable. That was until Oli took the the game by the scruff of the neck, winning, holding and muscling his way into the last few moments and helping us make history. Sixteen seasons, not Bayern, Barcelona or real Madrid can boast this.

I think the barcodes were a little annoyed with our lads celebrations, if only because they wanted to take that stage themselves and show their appreciation for the departing Harper. Still, our celebrations were justified. Firstly thanking the fans that out sang the Geordies all day, and have followed the team through thick and thin and secondly to celebrate the 10 game turn over of the tiny tots. 8 wins and 2 draws is phenomenal. We only had a seven point differential to overtake this season, and the tiny tots plastic wheels coming off the wagon helped, but take nothing away from the lads. The last 10 games point tally was the ultimate difference.

Thoughts and words can now turn to transfers, structure and the other sources of infighting that will have to fill our days until we reform after the break and put our collective boots on in anger once again.

I'm off to hoist a rather large drink in toast, for those wishing to join me, Sláinte!






Friday, May 17, 2013

St. John's waaaaaaaaaaaambulance service on high alert as tiny tots prepare to leap off the Shelf's rooftop.

Judgement day is upon us if you believe the Guardian. I suspect the actual proceedings to be less cataclysmic for us, the Arsenal faithful and the angst, despair and  shattered dreams to be once again the province of the tiny tots.

Launching themselves from the rooftop of their beloved White Heart Lane to reenact their team's nose dive back to reality, mediocrity and the cold hard truth that they are again, failures will be streamed live via ESPN to thunderous applause and a perfect 10 score for each face plant into the turf. Perhaps...  or that could just be the dodgy curry I had last night talking. Nostradamus I aint but what a lovely dream. Now I expect us to win, the dream part was a world without a Tottenham fan in it.. but i digress.

After a tale of two distinct halves, apparently interspersed by a few broken tea cups and a hairdryer, we found ourselves to be worthy 4-1 victors over Wigan. Apparently we spent most of the first half reacting to Wigan and their game plan, nullifying it (According to the Arteta of War, page 6 paragraph 3) Such was our success at this plan we forgot we actually had one of our own. Step up AW. Placing a firm Gaelic sandle into Arteta's midriff he was heard to shout "this is Arsenal." Thus we went out and the rest is history brave Spartans.

I don't think you can over state how important the early save ches made second half. All the more remarkable as old spaghetti wrists held strong, and the shot cannoned off his left paw and safely away. Theo played a blinder. for once in a good way. Poldi was unlucky not to get his hat trick, and while I winced when Ramsey took the shot you can't say more than GOAL!!!!! I think anyone would have been proud of that goal and not since Johnny "I hit the bar again" Jensen has the Arsenal had a player take so many shots and not score. So I was happy either way, probably more than Poldi but less than a Ramsey. Oh and Santi, the BFG and Kos, all played like they wanted to win. It rained and imports sometimes disappear in it, but the lads all sailed through that one with aplomb.

I felt for the Wigan supporters. Replay after replay showing the poor fan holding his beanie clad head in his hands, crying unconsolably in the realization that they were going down. Fair choked me up. I mean that by the way, I know I can dance for sarcasm but that really did hit me and tempered my elation at the scoreline. I expect to see Messrs Martinez and co back shortly. Why couldn't it have been Stoke!

So to the last day we have but to win. Should we need a play off with the Chavs I suggest it be at White Heart Lane. Just the matter of beating the barcodes (sounds naughty that) and we can once again relax into the comfortable knowledge that we are ready for the transfer merry go round being in both money and the championship League.

Come on you Gunners!