Friday, March 22, 2013

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain ringrazia La Serenissima

"It’s a great experience and just as good a feeling to play in a great stadium like that. It’s our Club and our stadium. Every single one of us wants to play at the Emirates regularly in the future so playing there against CSKA Moscow is a really positive thing for us and I think we can use it t our advantage. We’ll prepare well for the game.”

Those are the words of a young Serge Gnabry. Note the passion and conviction, maybe the future isn't as dark as some suggest. It's also worth mentioning that the under 21's can be seen for the princely sum of 4 Quid, so if you get withdrawal symptoms from no arsenal matches it might be money and time well spent watching the next gen indeed.

With hours to go till our NexGen clash vs the Russian Koni's and a possible Semi final on offer vs Chavski it was time to put down the bridle and don the white scarf and watch England take on the mighty football nation of San Marino.

Such nations as Tuvalu, Nauru, Monaco and the Vatican tremble at the prospect of matches here, given that no clubs in San Marino have a home ground and share 5 grounds in rotation it must be a right old game to find the right ground. It really is a marvel that they find themselves hosting a resurgent England side. I'm all for plucky little nations full of can do, as long as they don't base their football on the Pulis way. Thugball, not as nice as Wengerball, but thats what they call an opinion.

While San Marino is not exactly in the class of Brazil, this was still a competitive match and you can only play what's in front of you. Step up man of the match Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Industry, impact and a left footed goal to boot. I think our young lion likes playing La Serenissima, that's the second time he's bagged a goal against them in recent matches. At times the score made me feel like i had nodded off playing Football Manager, but it sure is nice to have a smile on my boat race.

Also in action was Aaron Ramsey for the Wales vs. Scotland game who's greatest contribution was forgetting he wasn't playing for Stoke or Newport Gwent Dragons and rugby tackling James McArthur to get himself sent off in the 94th minute. A delightful piece of cynicism that saw Wales ride out the last minute to win. I'm not sure given that there was cover that Scotland would have scored, but I am sure young Aaron knew what he was doing when he poleaxed McArthur and the following red card came as no surprise. It's hard to applaud such actions, but one man's hero is always another man's zero so I'll keep it to a sigh and a wince.. after all, it was against the Scots.

In other news everyone's favorite pinup scored for France, a fact causing me to smile as I had a bit of a flutter on Giroud doing so. On that note... night London and denizens of the night everywhere.




Sunday, March 17, 2013

Numerology and the wrath of the Gods.

Most of us know one. A friend, a relative or a co-worker. This subversive third column, the black heart of London. Yes, the Spurs fan. A week of pillaring, the allegoric presentation of a swan as a banana skin. The smug chuckles when you enter the room. A week where the number seven was presented as unmovable object. It is indeed the number after six and before eight, and to wit is where no doubt the average Spurs fan will be lost as I embark on why Seven IS indeed an omen. 

Seven is the only Mersenne safe prime. Mersenne, not Merson and therefore in no way connected to beer. Seven is the first integer reciprocal (multiplicative inverse) with infinitely repeating sexagesimal representation, but fear not, here I come to the point.

There are seven fundamental types of catastrophes. One might suggest for Spurs fans the first such catastrophe is called being an actual Spurs fan. Now this number, this impregnable bastion of smugness has been eroded to the number 4. I shall not dwell on this given our game in hand as I fully expect within time and fair weather this number will be further eroded to one.

One is its own factorial, its own square, its own cube and therefore an empty product. Mathematically I have applied to attribute this as the Tottenham factor. This is as far as numbers will get you. You see, for us who believe, the Neoarsenalists or as they were called back in the day the neoplatonists, one is the ultimate reality and source of all existence. One therefore represents the beautiful game and Arsenal is therefore an expression of the divine. How can I say this? Elementary; I applied null-A to my own logic. Simples.

It wasn't a number that put Naxto's shot past Vorm. As when Ramsey put Gervinho through; it was belief in the possibility that to reach the one and in turn the inverse of the numerical gap, we all needed to BELIEVE. As to Gervinho scoring… If that doesn't prove a unifying force theory nothing does.

So it was a good weekend, full of smoke, mathematical omens and a Berbatov. Too soon to pass out the cigars but as you can tell, I already started on the cognac.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Goodnight Munich, it's been swell

After a few days of being savaged in the press, most notably the Daily Mail, one could be excused for thinking that we had come to Munich to showcase our reserve team and maybe send a few post cards. "Disgraceful" "Wenger's lost ambition" are two such announcements. So the stage was set for this side to be torn apart at the hands of arguably Europe's best team. It took 3 minutes for that script to be torn up and as I punched the air and yelled 'Goal!' my dogs joined in, delighted that these self appointed oracles mutterings were nothing more than yesterdays entrails.

There really was only one team in it, if you take out Kroos's first time shots into row Z and Robbens selfish and ineffectual play. Kos put the ball in the onion bag and all of a sudden the immortal words of private Jones "They don't like it up them Captain Mainwaring" popped into my head and spiritually I dived into the back of the German net and tried to wrestle the ball from Neuer with the rest of the lads. The last 10 minutes were painful. We never stopped singing, we never stopped trying. At times it looked like Ari Stotle's little book of bigger dreams was about to receive a wonderful addition. By willing the ball into the net I thought my head would explode ala 'Scanners' but thankfully all I received was a very large headache. Note to self... must try harder.

Note to team... You made me proud and I don't see how any of you could have tried harder.

We won. We lost. After Milan I thought long and hard on that and tonight it still makes no sense the second time around. Still, it's a bitter pill to swallow and one that means that we can now go about our business of being the best team In London. Ten games, 5 points and a feeling. We've won with less, look at tonight.

Work to do, places to go, goals to score. Onwards!

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Ides of March

Well it's that time of the year when knives are sharpened and secreted under the togo just in case. There's been a lot of mutterings from the disenfranchised masses this term, our erstwhile Ceaser AW has but ten games to avoid the ignominy of having the knives turned not on the cockerels but his own tender and bruised flesh.

If we learn nothing brave Spartans, let it be that lessons learned at the expense of others is always better than having learned them the hard way, at the knife thrust as it were. One needs only to look at Chelski, who's gladius wielding Oligarch has had 10 heads roll down the blood stained steps to little if no effect to the desired outcome. That is not to say we should not replace Ceaser, but to do so without considering why the empire falters outside of this factor would be criminal and contra to intent.

That there are questions to answer are obvious, and given the corporate culture of balanced books one could be forgiven in thinking that by replacing the figurehead we shall with one thrust return Arsenal to its former glories. That AW is at the heart of this villainy and black turn in fortune; that his hand alone is responsible for the crumbling fabric of our glorious empire is overly simplistic and I give you but one factor of decline. There are others.

A lot has been made of the fact we are in an eighth season without a touch of silver. We have gone from treating the league cup as a nuisance to a proving ground for our youth to this season as a touchstone of intent. Alms for the poor. That fourth place is now our true goal rankles. Not because I remember the good times, not because I fear a return to the bad times. It is simply because of the true overwhelming nature of this issue and the depths of mediocrity we see on the horizon.

So as master of the obvious I shall endeavor to catalogue our calamities and suggest a quieter revolution, one that might perhaps be achievable without a frenzied and destructive toga party (blades optional). In this light I shall begin at the top, as surely it all flows down from there.

Starting at the top, we have an owner who sees us as an investment. If no other comfort could be taken from this we should consider that he has yet to take a dividend from this investment. Cold comfort as that may be. It will take more than a sibilant caress from a take over by a shadowy Middle Eastern Cabal to convince me that we couldn't end up as the poor Malaga fans. That Kronke has no passion for football could be a good thing if you support the club being run as a self sustaining entity, though I myself have a hard time thinking of Arsenal as a corporation or investment. These are head things... I see Arsenal as a heart thing but for the sake of balance I'll explore this. Unlike Kroenke, Usmanov has passion, but who is to say we would not see yet another Abramovich, though it's not likely he would ever get enough shares to get a board position, let alone control.

For a second lets move on and accept the current board and ownership as the status quo which besides selling, the only other real impact the owners and the board can have at this juncture is to push AW from the throne. This is a scenario I find unlikely, no matter the outcome of our next ten matches. To wit, their concern is next season and knowing that no further extension would be offered to our beleaguered leader, the question is how much money Do they allow him to use were this his last year. It would be good to remember that the board is a politically motivated as well a financially motivated lot. Thus pressure put upon them by the fan base could motivate them to support AW financially though I suspect they will go about replacing him quietly in the background in case the 13-14 season pans out the same as this year. This proves their able stewardship no matter which outcome and I think is the clearest intent given the individuals involved.

Keep calm and carry on indeed.

AW, then and now. I don't think truly either matters. When we look at what's going on, our failings come down to more than his decisions, lack of spending or keeping the same tactics no matter if they work or not. Though we are loath to point fingers at our players, one must and the culture in which they operate needs to change.

We have been on a slippery slope, where other teams know exactly how we play, in what formation and how to combat this. We have not deviated from the same tactics in years, while these years have seen the players who made it work move on, our tactics have not. Many cries have been made to bring in four new central players and while I would in principle agree, we also need to see why the ones we have are not working as intended.

Several players have recently come forward insisting that individual errors are costing us games. While this perhaps vies for my spot as Captain obvious I shall however address this by adding that these errors seem to be with little personal accountability. I'm not saying Keown had it right grabbing a teammate by the occasional throat but a simple shrug or look isn't enough. Not when we do it week in week out. Were that these players bad, but its lapses in concentration and generally switching off that is costing us, not the inability to see the issue or do the right thing. Where these cost us the most is at the back.

Way back when, keepers were taught to catch the ball. With the new balls and the greater athleticism of the players somewhere along the line it became acceptable to parry the shot away. This is fine as long as you don't possess effete wrists and no sense of geometry. While Szczesny is young and all too prone to little mental lapses, he also sadly possesses the wrists of freshly hydrated noodles and his parrying often is a precursor to us picking the ball out of our net and carrying it silently to the centre circle. Sadly he is our only choice at present, so replacing him is something worthy of consideration. To have him learn under a keeper like Asmir Begović would do two things. Firstly give us a keeper not unlike Seaman who could stabilize the defense, but someone our young Pole can learn from and have genuine and honest competition for a starting birth. This might focus him in the right way and given his age would represent the future.

The defense is another lot of individuals that have been poor of late, individually and collectively. While I don't lay all of this on Vermaelen, I would contest that given his form, the only thing keeping him in the side has been the captain's armband. Time and again he has simply switched off or went rampaging up the field leaving a rather large hole at the back. This has been compounded by the selection of Arteta as our DM. Not to say he hasn't performed admirably there for us, it has highlighted his lack of pace as he can't fill the holes made by Vermaelen. Next season I'd like to see a new CB, DM and a new captain. At this point I feel Wilshire deserves it and is one of the few trying to gee up the others at present anyway. Failing injuries a dedicated pairing in the centre would behoove us. Amorebieta, the Butcher of Bilbao is perhaps someone who could add a bit of steel to our central pairing, but given that I'd like to see a Gilberto type DM, perhaps the option of Swanseas Williams would be a better choice. Next season should also see improvement in Monreal's English and thus a better understanding along the line. Another player who has not been the same since he came back is Sagna. A mooted move to the centre doesn't seem the best option here and in Jenkinson we have an able replacement who has continued to get better, a trend I see continuing.

Midfield we have a great selection, though of course are missing a genuine DM, I’d prefer to see a Gilberto type, someone who plays the simple ball to our creative forwards and lets them do that, all the while breaking up possession giving cover to the back four and forces teams out wide and into coverage, slowing the attacks and not letting them come at us through the middle. Arteta plays the ball well, but lacks the physical presence and speed to cover the ground. We have such a player in Diaby, but lets be honest, at this point in time its favorable to bring in someone who we can expect to be in the lineup for more than 2 weeks at a time before once again being banished to the black hole that is the physio’s room. Cabaye is a nice option given that he has PL xp. Another choice could be Daniele De Rossi.

Up front we need someone who can actually put the ball into the net. So many times this season we have laid siege to our opponents goal to no effect. I often wonder if Ray Wilkinson is our attacking couch as so many times when in scoring positions we pass sideways. It’s frustrating and at times mind boggling. So I’m looking outside the PL and looking at Radamel Falcao García. Yes he’s going to cost, yes he’s worth it and given who will be in for him, unlikely, but here’s the thing… does that mean we don’t even try? I bleeding well hope not. Now there are other options, but again fits the bill to left, compliment and transcend this team. Top four isn’t something I feel going forward is what we, the fans want. We want more and for the first time in a long time, feel that we have the financial wherewithal to fulfill this. Now buying these will help, but without tactical reorganization, armband issues and having errors eliminated and brought into a culture of personal responsibility when they do occur, we’ll just be throwing money down a pit.

So there is the obvious with a stab (see what I did there) at how these can be overcome. In short, stability, investment and passion. Not exactly revolutionary I'll admit, but as the fictitious Sherlock once said… Eliminate all other factors, and the one which remains must be the truth.