What happens when you mix a loonytoon story about being a hybrid (no not a prius) alien human construct who's father just happens to be the serpent who evicted mankind from Eden? Ok, after you stop laughing...
Interestingly, I wondered if, after watching this HERE and looking at it the Simon Parkes interview for deception and finding little evidence, could this mean truth, albeit it through mental illness and cognitive transference of imagination to memory or actual truth?
My monies on transference.
After all, were this true, the dark demonic image I have of the devil and the anti-christ just doesn't fit the image of a bespectacled Simon Parkes now does it.
Having said that, it does make me wonder... what if what I write, perhaps mistakenly calling it imagination and creative fantasy, was in fact memory? What do we really know about history? Written oft by the victors, transcribed by clergy, fantasists and heretics and now deposited digitally using electricity and soon quantum means, what if this was a forced perception. What if what we understand to be real is based on a single deception? Now that's a bit more worrying than Simon Parkes becoming the spokesperson for Toyota, or to find the alien agenda is to make us all own a hybrid, (which to date most of us have, in a wonderful niece level mistook for a Prius and not our first born)… but still… what IF.
Now at last to my point.
If this is true we should all start dreaming, writing, talking and sharing love. We all have a love, beit our dog, a partner or for us given that you are reading an Arsenal blog, the Arsenal so this isn't a strange concept. We can't change the past. Hell, we can't even for sure say we know what that even is. We can however start to lay down the tracks for a better history, a truer one without all the devils, despots and aliens. That way no matter what we remember, record or dream… we will always be at peace, knowing if we are to be our own Gods, then we at least are not vengeful or angry ones.
One love people, one love, let's get together and feel alright!
Couldn't have said better myself...
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Handbags at dawn!
“I’m sorry but ‘Psycho’ is talking rubbish! (His nickname says it all). Theo often in the past had shortened holidays so that he could go to senior and U21 internationals.
“Players like Alex O-C are being spared this and only having to go to one or the other – I think the FA made all their mistakes with Theo.
“I’m not aware of him ever turning down a call up! Sour grapes from Pearce.”
Awesome one two three combo from Lynn that left pierce reeling from a well placed Gucci to the gob. While he no doubt is used to removing his foot from his mouth, this might be the first time he's had to remove a handbag!
Next on the petition list is for a bit of Gucci is Stuart Robson, who's gormless crusade against the gunners continued again with the missive that he wouldn't trust Wenger with a wheelbarrow full of money. We'll be sending Lynn around later with a wheelbarrow full of Gucci.
Bish bash bosh.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Transfer update Friday: Super Sonago confirmed and Williams reportedly agrees 3 year deal
Nice way to start the weekend as the signing of teenage French sensation Yaya Sonago was confirmed. He is joining us in June on a free with 250k going to Auxerre as compensation. His record of 10 goals in 13 games is fantastic, especially seeing as this was on the back of a bad injury that kept him out of the line up all season. His last gift to the Auxerre faithful proved to be a wonderful half volley from a drilled cross, back across the keeper and into the Nimes net. Recently called up for the French Under 21 National side, it looks to be a great bit of business. Here's a look at the young lad.
In other news the Evening Standard reports the imminent signing of Ashley Williams.
Evening Standard today:
"Arsenal have agreed terms to sign Ashley Williams this summer. Arsene Wenger is hopeful of tying up a three-year deal to bring him to the Emirates Stadium for a fee of £8-10million in the next fortnight"
This will no doubt upset the Anfield supporters who thought the ink had dried on a 4 year deal only for an eleventh hour bid to be accepted from us. Reports from within Anfield state that the Liverpool board backed out of the deal as the players age was mooted as an over riding reason. It seems strange that this would be so, as Williams stats this year prove his superiority over the current Liverpool central defenders. While history proves AW did the right thing pulling out of the Sahin deal, I think the Anfield Faithful will look at this as one that got away. With speculation over the Verminator's status ongoing, I don't see this as proof of this being anything but direct upgrade to the departing Squid. While Oli reportedly is sad to see his friend released, I fear he might be the only one and Williams signing significantly upgrades our defensive unit.
This leaves us with most of our kitty intact and the keeper, midfield and striker positions awaiting AW's ministrations. I won't bother with the rumors, just a chuckle at the 250k a week for 5 years deal mooted for Shrek.
"DONKEY!"
In other news the Evening Standard reports the imminent signing of Ashley Williams.
Evening Standard today:
"Arsenal have agreed terms to sign Ashley Williams this summer. Arsene Wenger is hopeful of tying up a three-year deal to bring him to the Emirates Stadium for a fee of £8-10million in the next fortnight"
This will no doubt upset the Anfield supporters who thought the ink had dried on a 4 year deal only for an eleventh hour bid to be accepted from us. Reports from within Anfield state that the Liverpool board backed out of the deal as the players age was mooted as an over riding reason. It seems strange that this would be so, as Williams stats this year prove his superiority over the current Liverpool central defenders. While history proves AW did the right thing pulling out of the Sahin deal, I think the Anfield Faithful will look at this as one that got away. With speculation over the Verminator's status ongoing, I don't see this as proof of this being anything but direct upgrade to the departing Squid. While Oli reportedly is sad to see his friend released, I fear he might be the only one and Williams signing significantly upgrades our defensive unit.
This leaves us with most of our kitty intact and the keeper, midfield and striker positions awaiting AW's ministrations. I won't bother with the rumors, just a chuckle at the 250k a week for 5 years deal mooted for Shrek.
"DONKEY!"
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Ding Dong, Thugball is dead.
It's been a few days since we dramatically clinched our place in the sun. In fact I had the use of both eyes when I caught the breaking news that Stoke had given Pullis the boot, thereby curing any lasting hangover and putting a remarkable spring in my step. Thugball is dead, or perhaps coming to America where those in the know suspect Pullis to crawl out from under a rock to transform a football team into playing passable rugby.
There's not many people who get under my skin, and less football managers. In fact I can count two, Redknapp and Pullis. At least Harry is just about personality (OK I'll come clean, also the fact Spurs are the ONLY team he hasn't got relegated while in charge, I mean WTF) Pullis's crimes against football go far deeper. His malodious personality aside, the way he shaped a football team to become thugs make nothing to hold their play against if one believes in the beautiful game. Now Chavski have proven you can win while playing terrible unattractive football, but they also show you don't have to kick, elbow, punch and step on insteps to win. The Naughty Forty don't do as much damage as their club players do on the pitch.
I've not wanted anyone to be relegated as much in forever, and honestly thought Stoke were proud of their football, manager and they way they played. Having run into some Stoke NF troglodytes on a train further reinforced this view. "We're going to break more legs than you" in the style of our "we're going to score more goals than you" is just one such nice ditty we were serenaded by.
The Stoke chairman's words; that he realized the style of play and the implications to the image of the club and the damage this has done to the club was stated. That moving forward they would have to move away from this and step one was bringing in a new manager to spearhead this change. Make no mistake, this impacts them right in the wallet. They needed to change, but honestly at this point the damage has been done. It will be a brave man to take over at Stoke and introduce tiki taka. Please God don't let it be Stevie Bold as a few daily rags suggest. Whoever it is, I fervently hope they at least try play football and that the cost of playing Stoke next term doesn't amount to weeks of sidelined players and the potential career ending broken leg (again).
Transfer news is sparse, same old stories running across 4.7 Bazzilion blogs and newspapers and I'm reading them all. I had been made aware that the perception of blogs have crossed from a personal shout out to mainstream journalism. Unfortunately few post sources or when given, have them linked to fantasy factories from Italy and Spain by and large. Still, gives me something to do while I eat the cornflakes.
After sifting through all this the last few days the only consensus I can allude to is that Arsenal want AW to buy big this year as much as the fans do. This seems likely. We have just dumped a ton of youth players and I suspect the dead wood to follow. This gives us money for the wages of these 2 or 3 superstars we are about to sign. Right? Well we shall see but first up is our interest in this young lad, Yaya Sanogo.
He told SkySports.
“Arsenal could be a great club for me, I scored nine goals this season with Auxerre and they think I can improve my level in England. I am pleased to be following in the footsteps of Abou Diaby who came through from Auxerre. There are many teams interested in me, but Arsenal is my choice.”
Lets cross all our fingers and toes his injury record improve as it's frighteningly like Diaby's and most report that the deal is about done. With lots of reported interest for Podolski, Vermaelen and Sagna one hopes the purported Higuain, Jovetic and Piszczek deals materialize and that if we do sell, we replace with better. If Vermaelen to Barca gets us back Cesc, I'd snap their grimy paws off. I expect though we still have a few surprises in store. A few mutterings of game changers I shall have to see to believe, but given the draconian way we have started to tackle the wage bill you never know. I never saw Bergkamp coming either... and on that note I'm off to the land of nod till bleary eyed I shall rise to greet the new day and hopefully some concrete news on our signings new and wonderful.
There's not many people who get under my skin, and less football managers. In fact I can count two, Redknapp and Pullis. At least Harry is just about personality (OK I'll come clean, also the fact Spurs are the ONLY team he hasn't got relegated while in charge, I mean WTF) Pullis's crimes against football go far deeper. His malodious personality aside, the way he shaped a football team to become thugs make nothing to hold their play against if one believes in the beautiful game. Now Chavski have proven you can win while playing terrible unattractive football, but they also show you don't have to kick, elbow, punch and step on insteps to win. The Naughty Forty don't do as much damage as their club players do on the pitch.
I've not wanted anyone to be relegated as much in forever, and honestly thought Stoke were proud of their football, manager and they way they played. Having run into some Stoke NF troglodytes on a train further reinforced this view. "We're going to break more legs than you" in the style of our "we're going to score more goals than you" is just one such nice ditty we were serenaded by.
The Stoke chairman's words; that he realized the style of play and the implications to the image of the club and the damage this has done to the club was stated. That moving forward they would have to move away from this and step one was bringing in a new manager to spearhead this change. Make no mistake, this impacts them right in the wallet. They needed to change, but honestly at this point the damage has been done. It will be a brave man to take over at Stoke and introduce tiki taka. Please God don't let it be Stevie Bold as a few daily rags suggest. Whoever it is, I fervently hope they at least try play football and that the cost of playing Stoke next term doesn't amount to weeks of sidelined players and the potential career ending broken leg (again).
Transfer news is sparse, same old stories running across 4.7 Bazzilion blogs and newspapers and I'm reading them all. I had been made aware that the perception of blogs have crossed from a personal shout out to mainstream journalism. Unfortunately few post sources or when given, have them linked to fantasy factories from Italy and Spain by and large. Still, gives me something to do while I eat the cornflakes.
After sifting through all this the last few days the only consensus I can allude to is that Arsenal want AW to buy big this year as much as the fans do. This seems likely. We have just dumped a ton of youth players and I suspect the dead wood to follow. This gives us money for the wages of these 2 or 3 superstars we are about to sign. Right? Well we shall see but first up is our interest in this young lad, Yaya Sanogo.
He told SkySports.
“Arsenal could be a great club for me, I scored nine goals this season with Auxerre and they think I can improve my level in England. I am pleased to be following in the footsteps of Abou Diaby who came through from Auxerre. There are many teams interested in me, but Arsenal is my choice.”
Lets cross all our fingers and toes his injury record improve as it's frighteningly like Diaby's and most report that the deal is about done. With lots of reported interest for Podolski, Vermaelen and Sagna one hopes the purported Higuain, Jovetic and Piszczek deals materialize and that if we do sell, we replace with better. If Vermaelen to Barca gets us back Cesc, I'd snap their grimy paws off. I expect though we still have a few surprises in store. A few mutterings of game changers I shall have to see to believe, but given the draconian way we have started to tackle the wage bill you never know. I never saw Bergkamp coming either... and on that note I'm off to the land of nod till bleary eyed I shall rise to greet the new day and hopefully some concrete news on our signings new and wonderful.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Koscielny!!!!
Hard to say what made me happier today, the Alan Sugar tweet here that sent the tiny tots into ecstasy or the brilliant strike from Kos. Cruel I know, but I wouldn't have sent Hitler a birthday card either.
We were nervy and playing well within ourselves, the barcodes had plenty of the ball but no real team work. Ben Arfa and Cabaye deciding to balloon attempt after attempt into the upper stand much to our relief and our own quality of final ball being somewhat lacking made it tough to watch. The only highlight for me was one of levity. Cheik Tiote went up with Poldi for a header, taking his eye off the ball and getting smashed in the face and going down as if shot from the grassy knoll. Luckily Poldi was nowhere near him. From a certain angle that might have seemed malicious, but the only contact was from the ball itself. Thankfully though, no real harm was done and the lad got up and continued with no lasting harm done except to his pride.
We were linked with both Chiek and Yanga-Mbiwa extensively and on this showing I'm glad we let those ships pass in the night. Mbiwa especially looked lost and seemed both unable to pass or control a simple ball to feet. Ramsey ran around and was everywhere, but his passing today was awful. All in all a half to forget, only sweeter for the tiny tots scoreline and the touching Barcode standing ovation to the departing keeper Steve Harper. He had revealed he was close to tears when fans chanted his name in his farewell game.
Second half we had more purpose, The Ox seemed to move into Arteta's slot well enough and for once we started to make the ball work for us. The game was still scrappy and I'm probably not the only one thinking that our first goal would come from a set piece. So it proved, Theo corner to Poldi who nodded it on. The Boss acted first, pirouetting and smashing the ball into the net before Harper could react. I shouted goal so loud the chap with the chainsaw half way up the trees in the back garden nearly tumbled out of it. Which also goes to prove the intelligent choice is always to strap yourself in, be it the car or a 50 foot tree.
We didn't really press any further until Oli came on, and his presence was two foldedly effective. First he held up the ball and allowed us some time to actually move around and create some space, secondly he muscled his way into a few good situations and very nearly capped his display with a cheeky chip over Harper. Theo must be wondering how he managed to turn the chance of the season to the worst miss of the season and one could understand his palpable frustration at that point. Time and again the through ball went wide, behind him or missing him in space alone altogether. As I said before, Ramsey was the worst culprit here and his industry didn't quite make up for the errant passing. Thankfully it wasn't punished.
With the tiny tots scoring (and what a goal it was too) the last ten minutes went end to end. The barcodes had only to equalize and the tots would leapfrog us into the CL. It seemed word got to the lads and we started to look a little vulnerable. That was until Oli took the the game by the scruff of the neck, winning, holding and muscling his way into the last few moments and helping us make history. Sixteen seasons, not Bayern, Barcelona or real Madrid can boast this.
I think the barcodes were a little annoyed with our lads celebrations, if only because they wanted to take that stage themselves and show their appreciation for the departing Harper. Still, our celebrations were justified. Firstly thanking the fans that out sang the Geordies all day, and have followed the team through thick and thin and secondly to celebrate the 10 game turn over of the tiny tots. 8 wins and 2 draws is phenomenal. We only had a seven point differential to overtake this season, and the tiny tots plastic wheels coming off the wagon helped, but take nothing away from the lads. The last 10 games point tally was the ultimate difference.
Thoughts and words can now turn to transfers, structure and the other sources of infighting that will have to fill our days until we reform after the break and put our collective boots on in anger once again.
I'm off to hoist a rather large drink in toast, for those wishing to join me, Sláinte!
We were nervy and playing well within ourselves, the barcodes had plenty of the ball but no real team work. Ben Arfa and Cabaye deciding to balloon attempt after attempt into the upper stand much to our relief and our own quality of final ball being somewhat lacking made it tough to watch. The only highlight for me was one of levity. Cheik Tiote went up with Poldi for a header, taking his eye off the ball and getting smashed in the face and going down as if shot from the grassy knoll. Luckily Poldi was nowhere near him. From a certain angle that might have seemed malicious, but the only contact was from the ball itself. Thankfully though, no real harm was done and the lad got up and continued with no lasting harm done except to his pride.
We were linked with both Chiek and Yanga-Mbiwa extensively and on this showing I'm glad we let those ships pass in the night. Mbiwa especially looked lost and seemed both unable to pass or control a simple ball to feet. Ramsey ran around and was everywhere, but his passing today was awful. All in all a half to forget, only sweeter for the tiny tots scoreline and the touching Barcode standing ovation to the departing keeper Steve Harper. He had revealed he was close to tears when fans chanted his name in his farewell game.
“Everyone started clapping... and I was wobbling,” he said.Classic.
“But then Podolski smashed me in the family allowance and that snapped me out of it.”
Second half we had more purpose, The Ox seemed to move into Arteta's slot well enough and for once we started to make the ball work for us. The game was still scrappy and I'm probably not the only one thinking that our first goal would come from a set piece. So it proved, Theo corner to Poldi who nodded it on. The Boss acted first, pirouetting and smashing the ball into the net before Harper could react. I shouted goal so loud the chap with the chainsaw half way up the trees in the back garden nearly tumbled out of it. Which also goes to prove the intelligent choice is always to strap yourself in, be it the car or a 50 foot tree.
We didn't really press any further until Oli came on, and his presence was two foldedly effective. First he held up the ball and allowed us some time to actually move around and create some space, secondly he muscled his way into a few good situations and very nearly capped his display with a cheeky chip over Harper. Theo must be wondering how he managed to turn the chance of the season to the worst miss of the season and one could understand his palpable frustration at that point. Time and again the through ball went wide, behind him or missing him in space alone altogether. As I said before, Ramsey was the worst culprit here and his industry didn't quite make up for the errant passing. Thankfully it wasn't punished.
With the tiny tots scoring (and what a goal it was too) the last ten minutes went end to end. The barcodes had only to equalize and the tots would leapfrog us into the CL. It seemed word got to the lads and we started to look a little vulnerable. That was until Oli took the the game by the scruff of the neck, winning, holding and muscling his way into the last few moments and helping us make history. Sixteen seasons, not Bayern, Barcelona or real Madrid can boast this.
I think the barcodes were a little annoyed with our lads celebrations, if only because they wanted to take that stage themselves and show their appreciation for the departing Harper. Still, our celebrations were justified. Firstly thanking the fans that out sang the Geordies all day, and have followed the team through thick and thin and secondly to celebrate the 10 game turn over of the tiny tots. 8 wins and 2 draws is phenomenal. We only had a seven point differential to overtake this season, and the tiny tots plastic wheels coming off the wagon helped, but take nothing away from the lads. The last 10 games point tally was the ultimate difference.
Thoughts and words can now turn to transfers, structure and the other sources of infighting that will have to fill our days until we reform after the break and put our collective boots on in anger once again.
I'm off to hoist a rather large drink in toast, for those wishing to join me, Sláinte!
Friday, May 17, 2013
St. John's waaaaaaaaaaaambulance service on high alert as tiny tots prepare to leap off the Shelf's rooftop.
Judgement day is upon us if you believe the Guardian. I suspect the actual proceedings to be less cataclysmic for us, the Arsenal faithful and the angst, despair and shattered dreams to be once again the province of the tiny tots.
Launching themselves from the rooftop of their beloved White Heart Lane to reenact their team's nose dive back to reality, mediocrity and the cold hard truth that they are again, failures will be streamed live via ESPN to thunderous applause and a perfect 10 score for each face plant into the turf. Perhaps... or that could just be the dodgy curry I had last night talking. Nostradamus I aint but what a lovely dream. Now I expect us to win, the dream part was a world without a Tottenham fan in it.. but i digress.
After a tale of two distinct halves, apparently interspersed by a few broken tea cups and a hairdryer, we found ourselves to be worthy 4-1 victors over Wigan. Apparently we spent most of the first half reacting to Wigan and their game plan, nullifying it (According to the Arteta of War, page 6 paragraph 3) Such was our success at this plan we forgot we actually had one of our own. Step up AW. Placing a firm Gaelic sandle into Arteta's midriff he was heard to shout "this is Arsenal." Thus we went out and the rest is history brave Spartans.
I don't think you can over state how important the early save ches made second half. All the more remarkable as old spaghetti wrists held strong, and the shot cannoned off his left paw and safely away. Theo played a blinder. for once in a good way. Poldi was unlucky not to get his hat trick, and while I winced when Ramsey took the shot you can't say more than GOAL!!!!! I think anyone would have been proud of that goal and not since Johnny "I hit the bar again" Jensen has the Arsenal had a player take so many shots and not score. So I was happy either way, probably more than Poldi but less than a Ramsey. Oh and Santi, the BFG and Kos, all played like they wanted to win. It rained and imports sometimes disappear in it, but the lads all sailed through that one with aplomb.
I felt for the Wigan supporters. Replay after replay showing the poor fan holding his beanie clad head in his hands, crying unconsolably in the realization that they were going down. Fair choked me up. I mean that by the way, I know I can dance for sarcasm but that really did hit me and tempered my elation at the scoreline. I expect to see Messrs Martinez and co back shortly. Why couldn't it have been Stoke!
So to the last day we have but to win. Should we need a play off with the Chavs I suggest it be at White Heart Lane. Just the matter of beating the barcodes (sounds naughty that) and we can once again relax into the comfortable knowledge that we are ready for the transfer merry go round being in both money and the championship League.
Come on you Gunners!
Launching themselves from the rooftop of their beloved White Heart Lane to reenact their team's nose dive back to reality, mediocrity and the cold hard truth that they are again, failures will be streamed live via ESPN to thunderous applause and a perfect 10 score for each face plant into the turf. Perhaps... or that could just be the dodgy curry I had last night talking. Nostradamus I aint but what a lovely dream. Now I expect us to win, the dream part was a world without a Tottenham fan in it.. but i digress.
After a tale of two distinct halves, apparently interspersed by a few broken tea cups and a hairdryer, we found ourselves to be worthy 4-1 victors over Wigan. Apparently we spent most of the first half reacting to Wigan and their game plan, nullifying it (According to the Arteta of War, page 6 paragraph 3) Such was our success at this plan we forgot we actually had one of our own. Step up AW. Placing a firm Gaelic sandle into Arteta's midriff he was heard to shout "this is Arsenal." Thus we went out and the rest is history brave Spartans.
I don't think you can over state how important the early save ches made second half. All the more remarkable as old spaghetti wrists held strong, and the shot cannoned off his left paw and safely away. Theo played a blinder. for once in a good way. Poldi was unlucky not to get his hat trick, and while I winced when Ramsey took the shot you can't say more than GOAL!!!!! I think anyone would have been proud of that goal and not since Johnny "I hit the bar again" Jensen has the Arsenal had a player take so many shots and not score. So I was happy either way, probably more than Poldi but less than a Ramsey. Oh and Santi, the BFG and Kos, all played like they wanted to win. It rained and imports sometimes disappear in it, but the lads all sailed through that one with aplomb.
I felt for the Wigan supporters. Replay after replay showing the poor fan holding his beanie clad head in his hands, crying unconsolably in the realization that they were going down. Fair choked me up. I mean that by the way, I know I can dance for sarcasm but that really did hit me and tempered my elation at the scoreline. I expect to see Messrs Martinez and co back shortly. Why couldn't it have been Stoke!
So to the last day we have but to win. Should we need a play off with the Chavs I suggest it be at White Heart Lane. Just the matter of beating the barcodes (sounds naughty that) and we can once again relax into the comfortable knowledge that we are ready for the transfer merry go round being in both money and the championship League.
Come on you Gunners!
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Don Villas-Boas says Szczesny "has no respect" as horse head left in his bed.
The room is dark. The solitary table lamp illuminates little beyond Don AWB's hooded eyes as he splinters walnuts. Controlled violence and a clear message to us as we wait his words. For a moment I think he is clearing his throat but it dawns on me he is trying to pronounce Szczesny...
"He has no respect, his hatred is not understandable from a punk who is not even an Arsenal fan."
I make an effort to correct the Don's last statement but am cut short as another walnut splinters. I find myself nodding in ascent instead.
"He's young, passing through to another club... In the end if he means these words from the heart..." Another walnut gives way to the Don's ministrations, the shell cascading to the desktop to be wiped away suddenly by the back of the Don's hand. "He doesn't for sure." He motions to the door and we file out, happy to see the sky.
Well, it could. perhaps should have happened like that. Mountains and molehills, storms and teacups. I think it's plainly a very slow day today news wise and but for this comedy gold from Messrs Szczesny and Villas-Boas it would be just another day of transfer speculation / fabrication and the long wait till the morrow where (hopefully) we get to see Chelsea stuff the Spuds. Sour cream, chives and a sprinkling of bacon bits to order.
It's getting tight. I've made several stabs at predicting results, getting ours spot on but unbelievably, Chelsea and Spurs keep winning too. It's annoying. Very annoying. Six points to play for and it doesn't help that even getting these might mean missing out on fourth. Mathematically a lot can still happen. We could come 2nd. We could come 5th. I'd settle for the middle ground and another season in the Champion's League.
So ahead of tomorrow I'm calling every Chelsea fan I know to do the unthinkable and wish them luck. I have the Bale voodoo doll sorted and a lovely selection of shiny pins. I think I have it all under control... just have to find a place to put this horse head.
Night all.
"He has no respect, his hatred is not understandable from a punk who is not even an Arsenal fan."
I make an effort to correct the Don's last statement but am cut short as another walnut splinters. I find myself nodding in ascent instead.
"He's young, passing through to another club... In the end if he means these words from the heart..." Another walnut gives way to the Don's ministrations, the shell cascading to the desktop to be wiped away suddenly by the back of the Don's hand. "He doesn't for sure." He motions to the door and we file out, happy to see the sky.
Well, it could. perhaps should have happened like that. Mountains and molehills, storms and teacups. I think it's plainly a very slow day today news wise and but for this comedy gold from Messrs Szczesny and Villas-Boas it would be just another day of transfer speculation / fabrication and the long wait till the morrow where (hopefully) we get to see Chelsea stuff the Spuds. Sour cream, chives and a sprinkling of bacon bits to order.
It's getting tight. I've made several stabs at predicting results, getting ours spot on but unbelievably, Chelsea and Spurs keep winning too. It's annoying. Very annoying. Six points to play for and it doesn't help that even getting these might mean missing out on fourth. Mathematically a lot can still happen. We could come 2nd. We could come 5th. I'd settle for the middle ground and another season in the Champion's League.
So ahead of tomorrow I'm calling every Chelsea fan I know to do the unthinkable and wish them luck. I have the Bale voodoo doll sorted and a lovely selection of shiny pins. I think I have it all under control... just have to find a place to put this horse head.
Night all.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
A touch of George about today
Today we waited in the tunnel knowing that the 86th minute shell launched by les dindons de coqs had landed smack bang on our hopes of another unprecedented year in the Champions League. Dusting off the feathers we ran out to remedy this against the best Super Hoops team ever assembled. Well, if you take cost into evidence anyhow. It was a tale of two championships, QPR already relegated could now go about their business of giving a shop window to their expensive talent in a bid to save themselves from the beggar's banquet that awaits them. So it was set for us to fail, a Spuds win and to be put to the sword by a team with literally nothing to lose and everything to gain by putting in their performances of the season.
It took all of 20 seconds. Step up Arteta, a nice little ball through the middle to Theo's feet. He paused and then slotted it under the advancing Green. Mayhem! For once I relaxed. We were going to win. Crazy I know, we would after all have another 94 minutes to play, but there was something about this team that I am beginning to settle on. The recent results, the subsequent media interviews our lads have given. The belief, the commitment. I flashed back to when "One nil to the Arsenal" was our terrace song. When Georgie Graham made it clear that if we scored against you it was time to surrender, because we would never concede... and so it proved. Though the R's did mount a credible second half tilt at us, it proved to be fruitless. I do admit to holding my breath when Chesney saved a Remy curler diving to his left and getting enough fingers on it to push it wide but apart from that, my resolve and conviction never wavered.
My pick for man of the match goes to Townsend, who gave Monreal a torrid time and a booking to show for it. Such was the magnitude of his performance it made Nacho look rather ordinary. In a world of "Daddy or Chips?" it was probably time for someone to stake a claim for daddies everywhere. The highlight of this torment being Nacho resorting to clutching at Townsend like a lover to a departing soldier as the boat took him beyond reach, steaming to foreign shores. Bit like where QPR will be going shortly. Ahem.
Anyway, we missed the potential Bale banana skin and the cut and thrust of the best mercenary team ever assembled since the like of Chelsea and those blue Mancs. We now have a 10 day break, which sees the Chavs and Spuds in action and points to be won, lost and a possibility seeing us going into the last game of the season numerically disadvantaged yet knowing that a win could be enough. Given our recent performances and a valid call for been there, done that, I expect it to go down to the wire with the season ending, much like my finger nails, down to the quick but victorious.
Almost time for us to look at what next season holds. Almost.
It took all of 20 seconds. Step up Arteta, a nice little ball through the middle to Theo's feet. He paused and then slotted it under the advancing Green. Mayhem! For once I relaxed. We were going to win. Crazy I know, we would after all have another 94 minutes to play, but there was something about this team that I am beginning to settle on. The recent results, the subsequent media interviews our lads have given. The belief, the commitment. I flashed back to when "One nil to the Arsenal" was our terrace song. When Georgie Graham made it clear that if we scored against you it was time to surrender, because we would never concede... and so it proved. Though the R's did mount a credible second half tilt at us, it proved to be fruitless. I do admit to holding my breath when Chesney saved a Remy curler diving to his left and getting enough fingers on it to push it wide but apart from that, my resolve and conviction never wavered.
My pick for man of the match goes to Townsend, who gave Monreal a torrid time and a booking to show for it. Such was the magnitude of his performance it made Nacho look rather ordinary. In a world of "Daddy or Chips?" it was probably time for someone to stake a claim for daddies everywhere. The highlight of this torment being Nacho resorting to clutching at Townsend like a lover to a departing soldier as the boat took him beyond reach, steaming to foreign shores. Bit like where QPR will be going shortly. Ahem.
Anyway, we missed the potential Bale banana skin and the cut and thrust of the best mercenary team ever assembled since the like of Chelsea and those blue Mancs. We now have a 10 day break, which sees the Chavs and Spuds in action and points to be won, lost and a possibility seeing us going into the last game of the season numerically disadvantaged yet knowing that a win could be enough. Given our recent performances and a valid call for been there, done that, I expect it to go down to the wire with the season ending, much like my finger nails, down to the quick but victorious.
Almost time for us to look at what next season holds. Almost.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Unchewable Toffee.
It's a funny old game. Some players have lucky boots, shirts etc. and I am no different. In times of difficulty, when the Arsenal are taking a hammering I call the huskies to me and tell them we need wolf power. (You can laugh but it seems to work). Thus when one of them duly threw up at my feet I immediately knew the problem. Unchewable toffee. (Of course I mean Everton, I don't feed them on actual toffee but after today would happily feed them Darron Gibson) Today would not go well, the Gods had spoken.
It was a battle of steel and not wits, one that should have seen us win but for Giroud having left his boots at home and seeming to borrow the ever helpful Adebayour's. After much being made of rushing young Jack back to early it was a surprise to see him involved and then boss this. A Viera performance, full of blood and guts and a needed counter to some of the suspect tackling the Toffees started with. I had expected nothing less from Everton, who were ever fortunate to have eleven still involved especially after the ghost of Chopper Harris past, Darron Gibson had already received a yellow. The two shockers on Theo after without a further booking made me wonder what would have to happen for a card.
There's nothing funny about some of the injuries we've suffered, some so serious we thought we'd see an insurance payment before the player again. The prolonged assault made me wince. It's a man's game but you had to see this as an accident waiting to happen. Tomorrow will tell us more as to what this point cost us, I'm expecting a few issues after this.
Still, all being said this was dropped points and but for fielding a rubber hammer the toffees were there to be cracked. Which leads me to our favorite pin up, Oli. It's a view that given it's his first season that his return thus far is better than excepted. I actually subscribe to this and were he our second striker the next statement would be moot. Unfortunately though, he isn't. It's displays like today that make me wonder WTF. He relationship to the ball is often akin to Manson, he tries to murder it every time he takes a shot. Santi could show him placement and Poldi could show him that lifting his head as he shoots is not a good idea. I don't know what's up there that fascinates him so much but time and again he does it. Clinical is not his watch word. I've held fire to now, as Theo up front still doesn't make me feel like its any kind of answer, but I'm wondering... How about Poldi up front for Fulham? Worth a thought, I mean he can't do worse can he? Can he?
So for perhaps the second time this season I find myself wanting the Arsenal to buy a bigger hammer. A brutal destroyer that can inflict a bit of fear and respect back into our midfield. We just don't have one and I expect this to be addressed end of term. Adding to this a sharper knife at the cutting end. A hammer and Sickle as it were. Step up Lukas Josef Podolski. Perhaps this is the comrade we are looking for. While I expect us to add a new face up front end of term, Poldi seems a good option till then.
With AW saying he is grooming him as a striker, maybe deploying him there now would have two effects. Firstly, he does well and everyone smiles, secondly he does ok, but AW realizes we still need Radamel Falcao García Zárate or (fill names in here). This would allay my fear that this grooming means no purchase of talent up front next season. Either way, it gives Oli a few games on the bench to discover where he left his shooting boots.
Fulham next. I'm waiting to see the team sheet before I don any sack cloth or party frocks. Till then...
It was a battle of steel and not wits, one that should have seen us win but for Giroud having left his boots at home and seeming to borrow the ever helpful Adebayour's. After much being made of rushing young Jack back to early it was a surprise to see him involved and then boss this. A Viera performance, full of blood and guts and a needed counter to some of the suspect tackling the Toffees started with. I had expected nothing less from Everton, who were ever fortunate to have eleven still involved especially after the ghost of Chopper Harris past, Darron Gibson had already received a yellow. The two shockers on Theo after without a further booking made me wonder what would have to happen for a card.
There's nothing funny about some of the injuries we've suffered, some so serious we thought we'd see an insurance payment before the player again. The prolonged assault made me wince. It's a man's game but you had to see this as an accident waiting to happen. Tomorrow will tell us more as to what this point cost us, I'm expecting a few issues after this.
Still, all being said this was dropped points and but for fielding a rubber hammer the toffees were there to be cracked. Which leads me to our favorite pin up, Oli. It's a view that given it's his first season that his return thus far is better than excepted. I actually subscribe to this and were he our second striker the next statement would be moot. Unfortunately though, he isn't. It's displays like today that make me wonder WTF. He relationship to the ball is often akin to Manson, he tries to murder it every time he takes a shot. Santi could show him placement and Poldi could show him that lifting his head as he shoots is not a good idea. I don't know what's up there that fascinates him so much but time and again he does it. Clinical is not his watch word. I've held fire to now, as Theo up front still doesn't make me feel like its any kind of answer, but I'm wondering... How about Poldi up front for Fulham? Worth a thought, I mean he can't do worse can he? Can he?
So for perhaps the second time this season I find myself wanting the Arsenal to buy a bigger hammer. A brutal destroyer that can inflict a bit of fear and respect back into our midfield. We just don't have one and I expect this to be addressed end of term. Adding to this a sharper knife at the cutting end. A hammer and Sickle as it were. Step up Lukas Josef Podolski. Perhaps this is the comrade we are looking for. While I expect us to add a new face up front end of term, Poldi seems a good option till then.
With AW saying he is grooming him as a striker, maybe deploying him there now would have two effects. Firstly, he does well and everyone smiles, secondly he does ok, but AW realizes we still need Radamel Falcao García Zárate or (fill names in here). This would allay my fear that this grooming means no purchase of talent up front next season. Either way, it gives Oli a few games on the bench to discover where he left his shooting boots.
Fulham next. I'm waiting to see the team sheet before I don any sack cloth or party frocks. Till then...
Monday, April 15, 2013
Monday and I have Tuesday on my mInd
It's the crack of noon, time to get up and do my rock squats.
Looking out the window to see dark angry skies roll past the palm trees seems a little surreal here in the City of Angels. My sole thought over a nice cupper was that today wasn't a top down day. It's hard living here, let me tell you.
Having thus performed this spectacular physical repertoire and thorough meteorological analysis I discard the paper and think of the morn, the Toffees and all that brings. For the first time this year our recent form has us looking back at our rivals. with much being made of the Chavs and Tiny Tots, hardly a word has been published about the blue sleeper from Liverpool. On something of a blue streak themselves (I know, I know I can't resist at least one pun a post) the stats tell me its been all Arsenal in these encounters since 2007 I still have to take a crafty look at their team and thanks to the wonders of the intraweb am now aux fait with their current setup, and thanks to some wonderfully written and passionate blogs; up to speed with the expectancy of the blue half of Liverpool.
So everyone expects us to win a close game. That all being said anything can happen in football and usually does. Save for Everton taking it upon themselves to score 4 own goals ala Catania vs, Inter Milan, we'll need to both turn up and play well.
Tactically I don't think this will be destroy the bus.
We have some forced absences through injury with the main one to Łukasz Fabiański meaning a possible return from wherever AW has banished Wojciech Szczęsny. Not even making the last two benches has not gone unnoticed. Still, like the two Huskies at my feet, good things can come from Siberia! Maybe it's all these clouds above my head making me see the silver lining.
The real question is given Lukas Josef Podolski a deserved start or sticking with the God of Chaos, the enigma that is Gervinho. Now a few may have had the pleasure of spending many hours over a gaming table playing Warhammer and if so may have faced the ball and chain wielding Goblin. I almost hear Gervais saying Wheeeee! every time he gets the ball and instantly pings off on another chaotic rampage, seeming to follow the ball rather than the other way around, this ball remarkably tethered to his toes as he pirouettes and whirls at the opposition.
One remarkable turn of play last outing saw him dance, shimmy and take the ball from inside mid to outside left and turn in the best cross of the season... to no-one. It's all good being a complete mystery to the opposition, it's another when it's to your own team as well. It's easy to say he brings something that the likes of the Ox and Theo don't, that his meandering runs pull teams all over the chip shop and make space for our creatives and tire the opposition. Giving our super subs, speed merchants and fusileer in OX, Theo and Poldi greater chance at success. That's the silver lining talking. However I think it's time we started Poldi and left Captain Chaos on the bench for once.
Everton have some quality, but in Marouane Fellaini-Bakkioui they have themselves someone who can be mercurial as well as petulant. I'm not a fan of his temperament but one cannot argue he has the ability to ram raid with the best of them. His physical presence needs dealing with, so I hope for a return for Per and Kos, our dynamic duo. Limiting the bash and crash might prove highly important in the opening 30 which will no doubt see the Toffees mix it up and pile most of their play through the air aimed at our center. To wit I think bringing back Naxto would help as defensively he has the edge over Gibs and with Poldi on the left we have enough threat to warrant a more defensive player. Both Thomas Vermaelen and Gibs have a tendency to be caught out of position having rampaged aggressively in the other half, so a more conservative choice would help to nullify the few options Everton have and a more physical presence in defence beats pace.
So due to poor planning and the lifestyle of the not so rich and infamous I'll be watching this titanic clash live on the telly and not at the Em. 11.45am kickoff means 3.45am here and an all nighter ahead... good God, it's a going to be a long day.
Cue Matchbox 20...
Postscript . Clearly the news from Boston scrambled my cognitive processors as the 11.45am was indeed LA time and I have no idea why I thought we'd be playing that early on a week day back home. Thoughts, hearts and minds go out to everyone touched by the bombings. It's scant comfort I know, but we had the same thing happen to us on a weekly basis back in the 90's in London. We managed, I put that down to the tea. No stiff upper lips necessary. Just keep calm and carry on that way they can never win. Ever.
Looking out the window to see dark angry skies roll past the palm trees seems a little surreal here in the City of Angels. My sole thought over a nice cupper was that today wasn't a top down day. It's hard living here, let me tell you.
Having thus performed this spectacular physical repertoire and thorough meteorological analysis I discard the paper and think of the morn, the Toffees and all that brings. For the first time this year our recent form has us looking back at our rivals. with much being made of the Chavs and Tiny Tots, hardly a word has been published about the blue sleeper from Liverpool. On something of a blue streak themselves (I know, I know I can't resist at least one pun a post) the stats tell me its been all Arsenal in these encounters since 2007 I still have to take a crafty look at their team and thanks to the wonders of the intraweb am now aux fait with their current setup, and thanks to some wonderfully written and passionate blogs; up to speed with the expectancy of the blue half of Liverpool.
So everyone expects us to win a close game. That all being said anything can happen in football and usually does. Save for Everton taking it upon themselves to score 4 own goals ala Catania vs, Inter Milan, we'll need to both turn up and play well.
Tactically I don't think this will be destroy the bus.
We have some forced absences through injury with the main one to Łukasz Fabiański meaning a possible return from wherever AW has banished Wojciech Szczęsny. Not even making the last two benches has not gone unnoticed. Still, like the two Huskies at my feet, good things can come from Siberia! Maybe it's all these clouds above my head making me see the silver lining.
The real question is given Lukas Josef Podolski a deserved start or sticking with the God of Chaos, the enigma that is Gervinho. Now a few may have had the pleasure of spending many hours over a gaming table playing Warhammer and if so may have faced the ball and chain wielding Goblin. I almost hear Gervais saying Wheeeee! every time he gets the ball and instantly pings off on another chaotic rampage, seeming to follow the ball rather than the other way around, this ball remarkably tethered to his toes as he pirouettes and whirls at the opposition.
One remarkable turn of play last outing saw him dance, shimmy and take the ball from inside mid to outside left and turn in the best cross of the season... to no-one. It's all good being a complete mystery to the opposition, it's another when it's to your own team as well. It's easy to say he brings something that the likes of the Ox and Theo don't, that his meandering runs pull teams all over the chip shop and make space for our creatives and tire the opposition. Giving our super subs, speed merchants and fusileer in OX, Theo and Poldi greater chance at success. That's the silver lining talking. However I think it's time we started Poldi and left Captain Chaos on the bench for once.
Everton have some quality, but in Marouane Fellaini-Bakkioui they have themselves someone who can be mercurial as well as petulant. I'm not a fan of his temperament but one cannot argue he has the ability to ram raid with the best of them. His physical presence needs dealing with, so I hope for a return for Per and Kos, our dynamic duo. Limiting the bash and crash might prove highly important in the opening 30 which will no doubt see the Toffees mix it up and pile most of their play through the air aimed at our center. To wit I think bringing back Naxto would help as defensively he has the edge over Gibs and with Poldi on the left we have enough threat to warrant a more defensive player. Both Thomas Vermaelen and Gibs have a tendency to be caught out of position having rampaged aggressively in the other half, so a more conservative choice would help to nullify the few options Everton have and a more physical presence in defence beats pace.
So due to poor planning and the lifestyle of the not so rich and infamous I'll be watching this titanic clash live on the telly and not at the Em. 11.45am kickoff means 3.45am here and an all nighter ahead... good God, it's a going to be a long day.
Cue Matchbox 20...
Postscript . Clearly the news from Boston scrambled my cognitive processors as the 11.45am was indeed LA time and I have no idea why I thought we'd be playing that early on a week day back home. Thoughts, hearts and minds go out to everyone touched by the bombings. It's scant comfort I know, but we had the same thing happen to us on a weekly basis back in the 90's in London. We managed, I put that down to the tea. No stiff upper lips necessary. Just keep calm and carry on that way they can never win. Ever.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Stress Addicts Anonymous Local Chapter 69
....and breathe.
Afternoon, My name is Ari and I'm addicted to stress. It's been 1 day since I last watched the Arsenal...
OK so there's no such thing but I'm beginning to think there should be. After again holding onto the football like a Leprechaun to his pot of gold we saw ourselves go one nil down to a rather well worked set piece. Cue the picking of the finger nails. It doesn't matter that the free kick should never have been given when a Canary tripped over his own clown shoes and was awarded for the pratfall with a free kick. It didn't matter a suspended BFG was not there to place a meaty forehead to the incoming ball. It only mattered that they put it in. So we faced an almost farcical situation again... being far the better team, having most of the ball and being a goal down.
At this point I think Norwich helped us out with their attempt to get into the Guinness Book of Records for 'Most Time Wasted in a Single Match'. (side note, the Norwich keeper Bunn is a boyhood Spurs supporter and no-one did more to achieve this record breaking attempt than him) The Crowd's nervy energy turned to anger and I quipped "Time for the law of return". As any good Wicca can attest, it is visited upon the transgressor threefold. While most muttered we just need a goal, a single point could after all prove invaluable, I held on for the win, the psychological weight this puts on our London rivals shouldn't be underestimated and even I was beginning to accept a point when a miracle happened.
Step up Kei Kamara. I'm sure the Olympic Judo selection committee will be in touch for what was a perfect Waza-Ari hip throw. Oli was lucky to be still wearing his top and the canary back slapping soon turned to incredulous cries of dismay and then anger as they mobbed the linesman. Penalty. Up comes Arteta. Boom, one all it is then and game on. Again it was good to see Arteta immediately grab the ball and hurry back. Shows the team wanted to win. I guess a few managers would have shut up shop, seeing the last 5 minutes plus extra time out, but to his credit, Arsene reacted to his team's obvious desire and drive to win this, making some attacking substitutions. The Ox had the assist for number two, but I admit I can't tell who put that in, Oli or Bassong. (Still we'll claim it for Oli, who I'm, not sure what else he has to do to get some supporters on his side... some of the so called super transfers we're in for according to the media have worse returns!) It wouldn't be Stress Addicts Anonymous unless we had a little more drama and Jonny Howson duly obliged, bringing out a wonderful stop by the Fab one. The last goal and the completion of the Wicca curse was a lovely curler through traffic by Poldi. It was sublime, not only for the goal, the win but the look on the Bunn man's face as his Sith like campaign of negativity was left in tatters by the 20 yarder. Priceless.
So we're 3rd. The pressure shifts to others now, but the desire to win has been there to see these last weeks. All we need to do now is keep winning. Simples.
OK, I'm sure it won't be as easy as all that, but in all honesty, looking at the games to play for the L3, I think this could be over mathematically by the time Man U play us. After the world and it's dog all but rubbing their hands in glee with the thoughts of us not being in the CL, its with some pride I look at the table and the true reflection of what our players have achieved the last 6 weeks. If it's down to a single speech, it surely must have been one of Churchillian order. I'm sure it's been a mixture of this, the support getting behind the players rather than waving black scarves and the sheer pride and quality the team have.
We know making the CL doesn't change the club issues, it rather detracts a further one and both sides of this debate have come to these issues through a genuine love of the Arsenal and want nothing more than to see us regain our former glories. I'm not touching this debate till the last kick of the season, till then I will sing, shout, clap and will our players to win. we have no divine right to do so, it will take an Herculean effort by mere mortals to pull this off. So sing you Spartans! Onwards... to glory.
Afternoon, My name is Ari and I'm addicted to stress. It's been 1 day since I last watched the Arsenal...
OK so there's no such thing but I'm beginning to think there should be. After again holding onto the football like a Leprechaun to his pot of gold we saw ourselves go one nil down to a rather well worked set piece. Cue the picking of the finger nails. It doesn't matter that the free kick should never have been given when a Canary tripped over his own clown shoes and was awarded for the pratfall with a free kick. It didn't matter a suspended BFG was not there to place a meaty forehead to the incoming ball. It only mattered that they put it in. So we faced an almost farcical situation again... being far the better team, having most of the ball and being a goal down.
At this point I think Norwich helped us out with their attempt to get into the Guinness Book of Records for 'Most Time Wasted in a Single Match'. (side note, the Norwich keeper Bunn is a boyhood Spurs supporter and no-one did more to achieve this record breaking attempt than him) The Crowd's nervy energy turned to anger and I quipped "Time for the law of return". As any good Wicca can attest, it is visited upon the transgressor threefold. While most muttered we just need a goal, a single point could after all prove invaluable, I held on for the win, the psychological weight this puts on our London rivals shouldn't be underestimated and even I was beginning to accept a point when a miracle happened.
Step up Kei Kamara. I'm sure the Olympic Judo selection committee will be in touch for what was a perfect Waza-Ari hip throw. Oli was lucky to be still wearing his top and the canary back slapping soon turned to incredulous cries of dismay and then anger as they mobbed the linesman. Penalty. Up comes Arteta. Boom, one all it is then and game on. Again it was good to see Arteta immediately grab the ball and hurry back. Shows the team wanted to win. I guess a few managers would have shut up shop, seeing the last 5 minutes plus extra time out, but to his credit, Arsene reacted to his team's obvious desire and drive to win this, making some attacking substitutions. The Ox had the assist for number two, but I admit I can't tell who put that in, Oli or Bassong. (Still we'll claim it for Oli, who I'm, not sure what else he has to do to get some supporters on his side... some of the so called super transfers we're in for according to the media have worse returns!) It wouldn't be Stress Addicts Anonymous unless we had a little more drama and Jonny Howson duly obliged, bringing out a wonderful stop by the Fab one. The last goal and the completion of the Wicca curse was a lovely curler through traffic by Poldi. It was sublime, not only for the goal, the win but the look on the Bunn man's face as his Sith like campaign of negativity was left in tatters by the 20 yarder. Priceless.
So we're 3rd. The pressure shifts to others now, but the desire to win has been there to see these last weeks. All we need to do now is keep winning. Simples.
OK, I'm sure it won't be as easy as all that, but in all honesty, looking at the games to play for the L3, I think this could be over mathematically by the time Man U play us. After the world and it's dog all but rubbing their hands in glee with the thoughts of us not being in the CL, its with some pride I look at the table and the true reflection of what our players have achieved the last 6 weeks. If it's down to a single speech, it surely must have been one of Churchillian order. I'm sure it's been a mixture of this, the support getting behind the players rather than waving black scarves and the sheer pride and quality the team have.
We know making the CL doesn't change the club issues, it rather detracts a further one and both sides of this debate have come to these issues through a genuine love of the Arsenal and want nothing more than to see us regain our former glories. I'm not touching this debate till the last kick of the season, till then I will sing, shout, clap and will our players to win. we have no divine right to do so, it will take an Herculean effort by mere mortals to pull this off. So sing you Spartans! Onwards... to glory.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain ringrazia La Serenissima
"It’s a great experience and just as good a feeling to play in a great stadium like that. It’s our Club and our stadium. Every single one of us wants to play at the Emirates regularly in the future so playing there against CSKA Moscow is a really positive thing for us and I think we can use it t our advantage. We’ll prepare well for the game.”
With hours to go till our NexGen clash vs the Russian Koni's and a possible Semi final on offer vs Chavski it was time to put down the bridle and don the white scarf and watch England take on the mighty football nation of San Marino.
Those are the words of a young Serge Gnabry. Note the passion and conviction, maybe the future isn't as dark as some suggest. It's also worth mentioning that the under 21's can be seen for the princely sum of 4 Quid, so if you get withdrawal symptoms from no arsenal matches it might be money and time well spent watching the next gen indeed.
Such nations as Tuvalu, Nauru, Monaco and the Vatican tremble at the prospect of matches here, given that no clubs in San Marino have a home ground and share 5 grounds in rotation it must be a right old game to find the right ground. It really is a marvel that they find themselves hosting a resurgent England side. I'm all for plucky little nations full of can do, as long as they don't base their football on the Pulis way. Thugball, not as nice as Wengerball, but thats what they call an opinion.
While San Marino is not exactly in the class of Brazil, this was still a competitive match and you can only play what's in front of you. Step up man of the match Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Industry, impact and a left footed goal to boot. I think our young lion likes playing La Serenissima, that's the second time he's bagged a goal against them in recent matches. At times the score made me feel like i had nodded off playing Football Manager, but it sure is nice to have a smile on my boat race.
Also in action was Aaron Ramsey for the Wales vs. Scotland game who's greatest contribution was forgetting he wasn't playing for Stoke or Newport Gwent Dragons and rugby tackling James McArthur to get himself sent off in the 94th minute. A delightful piece of cynicism that saw Wales ride out the last minute to win. I'm not sure given that there was cover that Scotland would have scored, but I am sure young Aaron knew what he was doing when he poleaxed McArthur and the following red card came as no surprise. It's hard to applaud such actions, but one man's hero is always another man's zero so I'll keep it to a sigh and a wince.. after all, it was against the Scots.
In other news everyone's favorite pinup scored for France, a fact causing me to smile as I had a bit of a flutter on Giroud doing so. On that note... night London and denizens of the night everywhere.
While San Marino is not exactly in the class of Brazil, this was still a competitive match and you can only play what's in front of you. Step up man of the match Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Industry, impact and a left footed goal to boot. I think our young lion likes playing La Serenissima, that's the second time he's bagged a goal against them in recent matches. At times the score made me feel like i had nodded off playing Football Manager, but it sure is nice to have a smile on my boat race.
Also in action was Aaron Ramsey for the Wales vs. Scotland game who's greatest contribution was forgetting he wasn't playing for Stoke or Newport Gwent Dragons and rugby tackling James McArthur to get himself sent off in the 94th minute. A delightful piece of cynicism that saw Wales ride out the last minute to win. I'm not sure given that there was cover that Scotland would have scored, but I am sure young Aaron knew what he was doing when he poleaxed McArthur and the following red card came as no surprise. It's hard to applaud such actions, but one man's hero is always another man's zero so I'll keep it to a sigh and a wince.. after all, it was against the Scots.
In other news everyone's favorite pinup scored for France, a fact causing me to smile as I had a bit of a flutter on Giroud doing so. On that note... night London and denizens of the night everywhere.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Numerology and the wrath of the Gods.
Most of us know one. A friend, a relative or a co-worker. This subversive third column, the black heart of London. Yes, the Spurs fan. A week of pillaring, the allegoric presentation of a swan as a banana skin. The smug chuckles when you enter the room. A week where the number seven was presented as unmovable object. It is indeed the number after six and before eight, and to wit is where no doubt the average Spurs fan will be lost as I embark on why Seven IS indeed an omen.
Seven is the only Mersenne safe prime. Mersenne, not Merson and therefore in no way connected to beer. Seven is the first integer reciprocal (multiplicative inverse) with infinitely repeating sexagesimal representation, but fear not, here I come to the point.
There are seven fundamental types of catastrophes. One might suggest for Spurs fans the first such catastrophe is called being an actual Spurs fan. Now this number, this impregnable bastion of smugness has been eroded to the number 4. I shall not dwell on this given our game in hand as I fully expect within time and fair weather this number will be further eroded to one.
One is its own factorial, its own square, its own cube and therefore an empty product. Mathematically I have applied to attribute this as the Tottenham factor. This is as far as numbers will get you. You see, for us who believe, the Neoarsenalists or as they were called back in the day the neoplatonists, one is the ultimate reality and source of all existence. One therefore represents the beautiful game and Arsenal is therefore an expression of the divine. How can I say this? Elementary; I applied null-A to my own logic. Simples.
It wasn't a number that put Naxto's shot past Vorm. As when Ramsey put Gervinho through; it was belief in the possibility that to reach the one and in turn the inverse of the numerical gap, we all needed to BELIEVE. As to Gervinho scoring… If that doesn't prove a unifying force theory nothing does.
So it was a good weekend, full of smoke, mathematical omens and a Berbatov. Too soon to pass out the cigars but as you can tell, I already started on the cognac.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Goodnight Munich, it's been swell
After a few days of being savaged in the press, most notably the Daily Mail, one could be excused for thinking that we had come to Munich to showcase our reserve team and maybe send a few post cards. "Disgraceful" "Wenger's lost ambition" are two such announcements. So the stage was set for this side to be torn apart at the hands of arguably Europe's best team. It took 3 minutes for that script to be torn up and as I punched the air and yelled 'Goal!' my dogs joined in, delighted that these self appointed oracles mutterings were nothing more than yesterdays entrails.
There really was only one team in it, if you take out Kroos's first time shots into row Z and Robbens selfish and ineffectual play. Kos put the ball in the onion bag and all of a sudden the immortal words of private Jones "They don't like it up them Captain Mainwaring" popped into my head and spiritually I dived into the back of the German net and tried to wrestle the ball from Neuer with the rest of the lads. The last 10 minutes were painful. We never stopped singing, we never stopped trying. At times it looked like Ari Stotle's little book of bigger dreams was about to receive a wonderful addition. By willing the ball into the net I thought my head would explode ala 'Scanners' but thankfully all I received was a very large headache. Note to self... must try harder.
Note to team... You made me proud and I don't see how any of you could have tried harder.
We won. We lost. After Milan I thought long and hard on that and tonight it still makes no sense the second time around. Still, it's a bitter pill to swallow and one that means that we can now go about our business of being the best team In London. Ten games, 5 points and a feeling. We've won with less, look at tonight.
Work to do, places to go, goals to score. Onwards!
Note to team... You made me proud and I don't see how any of you could have tried harder.
We won. We lost. After Milan I thought long and hard on that and tonight it still makes no sense the second time around. Still, it's a bitter pill to swallow and one that means that we can now go about our business of being the best team In London. Ten games, 5 points and a feeling. We've won with less, look at tonight.
Work to do, places to go, goals to score. Onwards!
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Ides of March
Well it's that time of the year when knives are sharpened and secreted under the togo just in case. There's been a lot of mutterings from the disenfranchised masses this term, our erstwhile Ceaser AW has but ten games to avoid the ignominy of having the knives turned not on the cockerels but his own tender and bruised flesh.
If we learn nothing brave Spartans, let it be that lessons learned at the expense of others is always better than having learned them the hard way, at the knife thrust as it were. One needs only to look at Chelski, who's gladius wielding Oligarch has had 10 heads roll down the blood stained steps to little if no effect to the desired outcome. That is not to say we should not replace Ceaser, but to do so without considering why the empire falters outside of this factor would be criminal and contra to intent.
That there are questions to answer are obvious, and given the corporate culture of balanced books one could be forgiven in thinking that by replacing the figurehead we shall with one thrust return Arsenal to its former glories. That AW is at the heart of this villainy and black turn in fortune; that his hand alone is responsible for the crumbling fabric of our glorious empire is overly simplistic and I give you but one factor of decline. There are others.
A lot has been made of the fact we are in an eighth season without a touch of silver. We have gone from treating the league cup as a nuisance to a proving ground for our youth to this season as a touchstone of intent. Alms for the poor. That fourth place is now our true goal rankles. Not because I remember the good times, not because I fear a return to the bad times. It is simply because of the true overwhelming nature of this issue and the depths of mediocrity we see on the horizon.
So as master of the obvious I shall endeavor to catalogue our calamities and suggest a quieter revolution, one that might perhaps be achievable without a frenzied and destructive toga party (blades optional). In this light I shall begin at the top, as surely it all flows down from there.
Starting at the top, we have an owner who sees us as an investment. If no other comfort could be taken from this we should consider that he has yet to take a dividend from this investment. Cold comfort as that may be. It will take more than a sibilant caress from a take over by a shadowy Middle Eastern Cabal to convince me that we couldn't end up as the poor Malaga fans. That Kronke has no passion for football could be a good thing if you support the club being run as a self sustaining entity, though I myself have a hard time thinking of Arsenal as a corporation or investment. These are head things... I see Arsenal as a heart thing but for the sake of balance I'll explore this. Unlike Kroenke, Usmanov has passion, but who is to say we would not see yet another Abramovich, though it's not likely he would ever get enough shares to get a board position, let alone control.
For a second lets move on and accept the current board and ownership as the status quo which besides selling, the only other real impact the owners and the board can have at this juncture is to push AW from the throne. This is a scenario I find unlikely, no matter the outcome of our next ten matches. To wit, their concern is next season and knowing that no further extension would be offered to our beleaguered leader, the question is how much money Do they allow him to use were this his last year. It would be good to remember that the board is a politically motivated as well a financially motivated lot. Thus pressure put upon them by the fan base could motivate them to support AW financially though I suspect they will go about replacing him quietly in the background in case the 13-14 season pans out the same as this year. This proves their able stewardship no matter which outcome and I think is the clearest intent given the individuals involved.
Keep calm and carry on indeed.
AW, then and now. I don't think truly either matters. When we look at what's going on, our failings come down to more than his decisions, lack of spending or keeping the same tactics no matter if they work or not. Though we are loath to point fingers at our players, one must and the culture in which they operate needs to change.
We have been on a slippery slope, where other teams know exactly how we play, in what formation and how to combat this. We have not deviated from the same tactics in years, while these years have seen the players who made it work move on, our tactics have not. Many cries have been made to bring in four new central players and while I would in principle agree, we also need to see why the ones we have are not working as intended.
Several players have recently come forward insisting that individual errors are costing us games. While this perhaps vies for my spot as Captain obvious I shall however address this by adding that these errors seem to be with little personal accountability. I'm not saying Keown had it right grabbing a teammate by the occasional throat but a simple shrug or look isn't enough. Not when we do it week in week out. Were that these players bad, but its lapses in concentration and generally switching off that is costing us, not the inability to see the issue or do the right thing. Where these cost us the most is at the back.
Way back when, keepers were taught to catch the ball. With the new balls and the greater athleticism of the players somewhere along the line it became acceptable to parry the shot away. This is fine as long as you don't possess effete wrists and no sense of geometry. While Szczesny is young and all too prone to little mental lapses, he also sadly possesses the wrists of freshly hydrated noodles and his parrying often is a precursor to us picking the ball out of our net and carrying it silently to the centre circle. Sadly he is our only choice at present, so replacing him is something worthy of consideration. To have him learn under a keeper like Asmir Begović would do two things. Firstly give us a keeper not unlike Seaman who could stabilize the defense, but someone our young Pole can learn from and have genuine and honest competition for a starting birth. This might focus him in the right way and given his age would represent the future.
The defense is another lot of individuals that have been poor of late, individually and collectively. While I don't lay all of this on Vermaelen, I would contest that given his form, the only thing keeping him in the side has been the captain's armband. Time and again he has simply switched off or went rampaging up the field leaving a rather large hole at the back. This has been compounded by the selection of Arteta as our DM. Not to say he hasn't performed admirably there for us, it has highlighted his lack of pace as he can't fill the holes made by Vermaelen. Next season I'd like to see a new CB, DM and a new captain. At this point I feel Wilshire deserves it and is one of the few trying to gee up the others at present anyway. Failing injuries a dedicated pairing in the centre would behoove us. Amorebieta, the Butcher of Bilbao is perhaps someone who could add a bit of steel to our central pairing, but given that I'd like to see a Gilberto type DM, perhaps the option of Swanseas Williams would be a better choice. Next season should also see improvement in Monreal's English and thus a better understanding along the line. Another player who has not been the same since he came back is Sagna. A mooted move to the centre doesn't seem the best option here and in Jenkinson we have an able replacement who has continued to get better, a trend I see continuing.
Midfield we have a great selection, though of course are missing a genuine DM, I’d prefer to see a Gilberto type, someone who plays the simple ball to our creative forwards and lets them do that, all the while breaking up possession giving cover to the back four and forces teams out wide and into coverage, slowing the attacks and not letting them come at us through the middle. Arteta plays the ball well, but lacks the physical presence and speed to cover the ground. We have such a player in Diaby, but lets be honest, at this point in time its favorable to bring in someone who we can expect to be in the lineup for more than 2 weeks at a time before once again being banished to the black hole that is the physio’s room. Cabaye is a nice option given that he has PL xp. Another choice could be Daniele De Rossi.
Up front we need someone who can actually put the ball into the net. So many times this season we have laid siege to our opponents goal to no effect. I often wonder if Ray Wilkinson is our attacking couch as so many times when in scoring positions we pass sideways. It’s frustrating and at times mind boggling. So I’m looking outside the PL and looking at Radamel Falcao García. Yes he’s going to cost, yes he’s worth it and given who will be in for him, unlikely, but here’s the thing… does that mean we don’t even try? I bleeding well hope not. Now there are other options, but again fits the bill to left, compliment and transcend this team. Top four isn’t something I feel going forward is what we, the fans want. We want more and for the first time in a long time, feel that we have the financial wherewithal to fulfill this. Now buying these will help, but without tactical reorganization, armband issues and having errors eliminated and brought into a culture of personal responsibility when they do occur, we’ll just be throwing money down a pit.
So there is the obvious with a stab (see what I did there) at how these can be overcome. In short, stability, investment and passion. Not exactly revolutionary I'll admit, but as the fictitious Sherlock once said… Eliminate all other factors, and the one which remains must be the truth.
If we learn nothing brave Spartans, let it be that lessons learned at the expense of others is always better than having learned them the hard way, at the knife thrust as it were. One needs only to look at Chelski, who's gladius wielding Oligarch has had 10 heads roll down the blood stained steps to little if no effect to the desired outcome. That is not to say we should not replace Ceaser, but to do so without considering why the empire falters outside of this factor would be criminal and contra to intent.
That there are questions to answer are obvious, and given the corporate culture of balanced books one could be forgiven in thinking that by replacing the figurehead we shall with one thrust return Arsenal to its former glories. That AW is at the heart of this villainy and black turn in fortune; that his hand alone is responsible for the crumbling fabric of our glorious empire is overly simplistic and I give you but one factor of decline. There are others.
A lot has been made of the fact we are in an eighth season without a touch of silver. We have gone from treating the league cup as a nuisance to a proving ground for our youth to this season as a touchstone of intent. Alms for the poor. That fourth place is now our true goal rankles. Not because I remember the good times, not because I fear a return to the bad times. It is simply because of the true overwhelming nature of this issue and the depths of mediocrity we see on the horizon.
So as master of the obvious I shall endeavor to catalogue our calamities and suggest a quieter revolution, one that might perhaps be achievable without a frenzied and destructive toga party (blades optional). In this light I shall begin at the top, as surely it all flows down from there.
Starting at the top, we have an owner who sees us as an investment. If no other comfort could be taken from this we should consider that he has yet to take a dividend from this investment. Cold comfort as that may be. It will take more than a sibilant caress from a take over by a shadowy Middle Eastern Cabal to convince me that we couldn't end up as the poor Malaga fans. That Kronke has no passion for football could be a good thing if you support the club being run as a self sustaining entity, though I myself have a hard time thinking of Arsenal as a corporation or investment. These are head things... I see Arsenal as a heart thing but for the sake of balance I'll explore this. Unlike Kroenke, Usmanov has passion, but who is to say we would not see yet another Abramovich, though it's not likely he would ever get enough shares to get a board position, let alone control.
For a second lets move on and accept the current board and ownership as the status quo which besides selling, the only other real impact the owners and the board can have at this juncture is to push AW from the throne. This is a scenario I find unlikely, no matter the outcome of our next ten matches. To wit, their concern is next season and knowing that no further extension would be offered to our beleaguered leader, the question is how much money Do they allow him to use were this his last year. It would be good to remember that the board is a politically motivated as well a financially motivated lot. Thus pressure put upon them by the fan base could motivate them to support AW financially though I suspect they will go about replacing him quietly in the background in case the 13-14 season pans out the same as this year. This proves their able stewardship no matter which outcome and I think is the clearest intent given the individuals involved.
Keep calm and carry on indeed.
AW, then and now. I don't think truly either matters. When we look at what's going on, our failings come down to more than his decisions, lack of spending or keeping the same tactics no matter if they work or not. Though we are loath to point fingers at our players, one must and the culture in which they operate needs to change.
We have been on a slippery slope, where other teams know exactly how we play, in what formation and how to combat this. We have not deviated from the same tactics in years, while these years have seen the players who made it work move on, our tactics have not. Many cries have been made to bring in four new central players and while I would in principle agree, we also need to see why the ones we have are not working as intended.
Several players have recently come forward insisting that individual errors are costing us games. While this perhaps vies for my spot as Captain obvious I shall however address this by adding that these errors seem to be with little personal accountability. I'm not saying Keown had it right grabbing a teammate by the occasional throat but a simple shrug or look isn't enough. Not when we do it week in week out. Were that these players bad, but its lapses in concentration and generally switching off that is costing us, not the inability to see the issue or do the right thing. Where these cost us the most is at the back.
Way back when, keepers were taught to catch the ball. With the new balls and the greater athleticism of the players somewhere along the line it became acceptable to parry the shot away. This is fine as long as you don't possess effete wrists and no sense of geometry. While Szczesny is young and all too prone to little mental lapses, he also sadly possesses the wrists of freshly hydrated noodles and his parrying often is a precursor to us picking the ball out of our net and carrying it silently to the centre circle. Sadly he is our only choice at present, so replacing him is something worthy of consideration. To have him learn under a keeper like Asmir Begović would do two things. Firstly give us a keeper not unlike Seaman who could stabilize the defense, but someone our young Pole can learn from and have genuine and honest competition for a starting birth. This might focus him in the right way and given his age would represent the future.
The defense is another lot of individuals that have been poor of late, individually and collectively. While I don't lay all of this on Vermaelen, I would contest that given his form, the only thing keeping him in the side has been the captain's armband. Time and again he has simply switched off or went rampaging up the field leaving a rather large hole at the back. This has been compounded by the selection of Arteta as our DM. Not to say he hasn't performed admirably there for us, it has highlighted his lack of pace as he can't fill the holes made by Vermaelen. Next season I'd like to see a new CB, DM and a new captain. At this point I feel Wilshire deserves it and is one of the few trying to gee up the others at present anyway. Failing injuries a dedicated pairing in the centre would behoove us. Amorebieta, the Butcher of Bilbao is perhaps someone who could add a bit of steel to our central pairing, but given that I'd like to see a Gilberto type DM, perhaps the option of Swanseas Williams would be a better choice. Next season should also see improvement in Monreal's English and thus a better understanding along the line. Another player who has not been the same since he came back is Sagna. A mooted move to the centre doesn't seem the best option here and in Jenkinson we have an able replacement who has continued to get better, a trend I see continuing.
Midfield we have a great selection, though of course are missing a genuine DM, I’d prefer to see a Gilberto type, someone who plays the simple ball to our creative forwards and lets them do that, all the while breaking up possession giving cover to the back four and forces teams out wide and into coverage, slowing the attacks and not letting them come at us through the middle. Arteta plays the ball well, but lacks the physical presence and speed to cover the ground. We have such a player in Diaby, but lets be honest, at this point in time its favorable to bring in someone who we can expect to be in the lineup for more than 2 weeks at a time before once again being banished to the black hole that is the physio’s room. Cabaye is a nice option given that he has PL xp. Another choice could be Daniele De Rossi.
Up front we need someone who can actually put the ball into the net. So many times this season we have laid siege to our opponents goal to no effect. I often wonder if Ray Wilkinson is our attacking couch as so many times when in scoring positions we pass sideways. It’s frustrating and at times mind boggling. So I’m looking outside the PL and looking at Radamel Falcao García. Yes he’s going to cost, yes he’s worth it and given who will be in for him, unlikely, but here’s the thing… does that mean we don’t even try? I bleeding well hope not. Now there are other options, but again fits the bill to left, compliment and transcend this team. Top four isn’t something I feel going forward is what we, the fans want. We want more and for the first time in a long time, feel that we have the financial wherewithal to fulfill this. Now buying these will help, but without tactical reorganization, armband issues and having errors eliminated and brought into a culture of personal responsibility when they do occur, we’ll just be throwing money down a pit.
So there is the obvious with a stab (see what I did there) at how these can be overcome. In short, stability, investment and passion. Not exactly revolutionary I'll admit, but as the fictitious Sherlock once said… Eliminate all other factors, and the one which remains must be the truth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)